Cats (2019) Movie Review or A Pile of Cat S**t

Hello guys and welcome back for another round of movie reviews, quarantine edition, with Movie Nerd, a place where you can be nerdy about movies, even in a pandemic:)))

So, because we are forced to stay home because of this outbreak, this is day 9 for me and the movies are canceled and movie theaters are all closing, I will still provide content by watching movies at home and give you my take on them. Today, I will give you my take on the most famous Broadway musical turn into a movie, Cats but before I do that, a bit of a synopsis for you guys: Oscar®-winning director Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech, Les Misérables, The Danish Girl) transforms Andrew Lloyd Webber’s record-shattering stage musical into a breakthrough cinematic event.

Don't trust that synopsis that I put up there because it is not true, except for the fact that is directed by Tom Hooper but the movie is not a breakthrough cinematic event. What it is, actually, is one big bloody mistake, that contains no joy, no emotions, no laughter, no comedy, no humor just a plot that does not exist, a main character whose backstory we don't know, annoying characters that are using songs to offer you some exposition which was so infuriating and maddening, some very crappy CGI that you can clearly make out most of the movie, nightmarish blends between real actor's faces digitally glued to a digital cat bode which make for a weird and strange experience but not in a good way.

Being a so called musical, which, by the way, I know it's a musical but you don't have to sing every single god damn thing, mixed up a little with some dialog, which, in this movie, it is indeed short but definitely not sweet but rather forced, bad and out of place. A musical should give you emotions, thrills and dazzle you but this one gives you nightmares, boredom, the songs are not even that good except for one, maybe two, choreography, most of it, has no logic and it's not even very good, expect for one scene in which the choreography and the music are fairly OK.

The humor that exists in this abomination of a movie is only made from cat puns that are not even original in the slightest. Plus, I know that this movie is called Cats but you don't have to utter the word cat or cats every single freaking time, you don't have to beat me on the head with it.

Performance wise, I can say that the actors tried to do their best with what they got, a script that barely makes sense. There are a few standouts, like Jennifer Hudson, singing the one song that is good and recognizable in this train wreck of a thing and Sir Ian McKellen, whom being a stage actor in the beginning of his career, kinda belongs in a Broadway adaptation.

The only 2 good things about this is the great cast assemble and it's run time, which clocks at 1 hour and 40 minutes, without the credits and trust me, if this was over 2 hours I would have stepped out of the movie theater but thank God I did not have to see this when it came out because it's not worth the price of admission not in the slightest.

Overall, why was this made? What was the reason? What was it's purpose? We may never know but, unfortunately, it exists and it's one of the worst things I have ever seen and I cannot believe that Tom Hopper, the Oscar nominated director for The King's Speech and Les Miserables did this piece of trash because that is what this is. 1.8/10

OK guys, that was my review for this one and I hope I will forget about this movie very soon. Next up, you can't see him but he is there, The Invisible Man 2020. Until then, take care, stay safe, stay clean, stay movie nerdy and keep on reviewing!